tuesday

I crashed into the cement median going 55-60 yesterday after hitting a patch of ice. My car is done for. I'm not feeling so hot either, but nothing's broken. Out of work until next Monday. Gotta get back to the ice packs and bed... Michelle

Turkey Day

We went to Lisa and Nick's in the afternoon to prepare for Thanksgiving dinner. This is my FAVORITE holiday. You get to be with family, eat good food, and not worry about presents. It's just a nice time to be together.

Wednesday night, we went to the New Dehli with Paul and Anna, so we got to spend some time with Stephen's side, too, while listening to good music a la Paul Hatleid (Lippold).

Abbey =)
Me and the husband
The three Shaf. kids
Cindy and Lauren

Turkey Run

It was a cold morning yesterday, but we got up and trudged along the streets of downtown Minneapolis with over 6,000 other people for the 5K Turkey Run! Stephen, Jeff, and I came in at 53:30! It was kind of a nice way to start the day =)

As I was driving home today, I came up with the beginnings...

Working title: Bound

I've had a hard time reconciling
the long dark nights
that have slowly arrived.

When the blanket
of evening
tucks in the day,
I feel muffled;
the door has been shut for the night.

To leave the confines of our house,
unthinkable.
I am desperate, helpless.
But not agoraphobic.
Don't get me wrong.
I can leave; I just feel like I can't.
Like it's not an option.
Like I need to cuddle up
to the fire that we don't have.
Put on slippers,
make some tea.

You shouldn't be surprised
to learn, then,
that my favorite day
of the winter
is December 22nd,
when long days melt
into lightness,
and I am assured
that we are indeed
headed once again
into spring.

I hope

that wasn't too new-ageish. I'm really not like that. But I did think it was interesting.

LTF Advice

Interesting...

"..easing your attachment to a struggle-centric reality needn't spell death for your personality."
commitments:
tell the truth
ask for what you want
keep your agreements
take responsibility

from Let it Be Easy: Simple Actions... by Tolly Burkan

Just clearing out a Lifetime Fitness magazine. I always seem to find interesting pieces that I rip out and then somehow forget about...

I woke up

with a headache this morning. You'd think it was caused from beer after having a party for Abbey with five 9 year olds, but no, NO alcohol consumed post-party (or pre, smart asses) ... Or maybe from the noise of girls screaming and running through the house. Hmmm, I teach 7th graders, so five little girls for four hours really doesn't hold a candle to a middle school hallway. No, it is from TOO MUCH SUGAR. Go figure! Must stay away from all forms of chocolate today...

It's almost Friday... that's gotta count for something.

So it was another Wednesday night and another trip to W...gr..ns. I feel like I have to be a little sneaky now because of one reader who searched for said store name on a blog search engine so he could comment and plug his site, which is anti-W (not anti-THAT-W, although, good idea) because he had a bad work comp experience with the company. So while I feel for the man, I do have to admit that I visited the store again last night. I wasn't driving, and it was closest.... as if that makes a conscience any clearer.

But we did emerge, again, with an odd assortment of --------->
throat lozenges
Tylenol drinkable throat fixer-upper
.7 lead
one symapthy card
one Sodaku book, to try for the first time

I still maintain that that store has everything you don't need. It does appear, however, that we do need some of these odds and ends. My personal favorite juxtaposition... maybe the saline nasal spray, pencil top erasers, and motor oil. The lead and sympathy card is pretty good though, too.

Has anyone out there tried S***ku? My brain has trouble functioning that way, so it is interesting for me.(A critical thinking puzzle is one of my worst enemies!) I realized during the thick of graduate school courses that I can get to the answers/solutions to things, but it takes me longer than other people. I also realized that I am a slow reader... which was dissapointing to me for some reason as I have always been a really good student and perceived things to be easy. Not so, I learned. Maybe that's why I'm still talking about finishing my thesis rather than finishing it. No, that's just pure laziness and overworkedness. Procrastination. I can't lie about that one. I'll go to thesis hell... and that's a place that I don't want to be.

As we were driving on 494, we saw a billboard, and I don't quite know what to think about it. It was for Jack Link's beef jerky... "Banana chips can cause figure skating." I didn't get the same connotation Stephen did right away ("Forgive me, for I am a slow study." Can you tell me what play that is from?) So when he explained it as he saw it, I was really surprised that something that bold (and on the side I fundamentally don't agree with) would be up on a billboard.

Bret Ocholik, vice president of marketing, Jack Link’s Beef Jerky: “The heritage of Jack Link’s is steeped in the tradition of the Wisconsin north woods – we’re about being real and having fun."

Does that include buying into stereotypes of men and women and being homophobic, perchance? I DO know what I think about that. Meet my friend (past professor) Paul...

Carmichael Lynch did the ad campaign... The print ad is on their site under Our Stuff, Link Snacks, Inc. Hmmmm.

Then Stephen told me about this... "

Welcome to the visitors' locker room at Iowa's Kinnick Stadium, where pink is the color of choice to weaken and debilitate opposing football players...

There was controversy in Iowa City earlier this season when several professors at Iowa said the color demeans women and homosexuals.

The Wolverines said they don't care what color is used in locker rooms.

'You could paint the locker room pink, you could paint it red, you could paint it white ... a locker room is a locker room,' Michigan receiver Carl Tabb said."

Yeah right, Mr. Tabb. Steroids anyone? (For the record, I generally hate football and have never (and never will be) a Vikings fan.)

cast away

I got a letter from the church I grew up in stating that if they do not hear from me they must consider removing my name from their membership roles. I finally wrote back tonight.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

November 14, 2005



Dear _________,

Thank you for the letter. As I am permanently living in Minneapolis, please release me from membership from St. Mark’s Lutheran Church. While St. Mark’s served me well growing up, I do not desire to be part of a LCMS church as an adult, and I will not be transferring membership at this time. My best to Pastor Roth and Geneal as well as the families I grew up with. I will still be attending Christmas services with my parents.



Sincerely,

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What do you think of that? I am officially a member of NO church. That feels kind of weird. So if I have to have a funeral, where would that take place? Is the Christmas disclaimer lame?

currently

i should be: working on my thesis.

currently, i am: avoiding what i should be doing.

instead, i will round up the troops (all two of them) and head to blockbuster. no, not to get a movie-- you know me better than that. we will be getting wonka bars to make invitations to abbey's wwatcf party set for this saturday. chocolate fondue, oh how i don't need you, but here i come. pin-the-tail-on-augustus, you wonder... just you wait.

so i didn't get sick-sick over the weekend, but i did get sick from taking too much over the counter medicine. as in wake-you-up-at-430am-you'll-be-sorry-if-you-stay-in-bed sick. i don't know, too much acetometaphin? or cold-eeze? it was less than desirable.

but i'll spare you the details.

galway kinnell is speaking at this very moment at plymouth congregational church in downtown mpls. same place we saw ted kooser, poet laureate. but, we've got other family and kid things to do, so i figured we shouldn't push it after i figured we should. it was one of those great last minute ideas that ended up lost. another poet on another day i guess. afterall, we've drug abbey to lawrence ferlenghetti at the u of m (when she was too young and got impatient with us-- do you blame her? can a little little kid really sit still through a long poetry reading? there was bilingual poetry by some other people first) and then ted kooser when he came last year. galway can wait...

you can check out gk here. it would be a great idea...

an attempt

diversity of posts, right? well, i'm teaching free-verse poetry in the writer's workshop right now, so i thought i'd post one of my attempts. now, this does mean that i would be officially outed in my challenge to create a site that neither parents nor students can find, as i have shared this poem with my students, but the chances of that happening are slim to none, as i don't think i have a lot of viewers, and most people don't have time to sift through archives. am i really having this internal conversation with myself? must be the cold medicine... it's been a long week =)


#8 (no title yet)
(poem in process, not done)

It's October
and we're walking through Target.
Abbey needs a costume
so we wind to the back
and find wigs and teeth and eyeballs.
And that's what we want to see,
wigs and teeth and eyeballs.

But when I turn the corner,
I find that Christmas Central has crept in.

What would I want
with cards, plastic reindeer, and garland
in the middle of October?
We haven't even bought the Halloween candy yet!

This is a nightmare.
I don't want perpetual holiday celebrations
invading my life
or the collective consciousness of America.

But I'm too late.
I'm walking through Target in October,
and Christmas Central has already crept in.

-----------------------------------------------------------

So that's the attempt I'll put up for now. I'm working on revising some others. I'm not quite the Billy Collins or Ted Kooser or Mary Oliver that people may think englishy type teachers may be. No, not there yet. =)

I'm working on a different one about the weirdness of leaving your childhood holiday traditions and having to start your own as an adult. well, i guess we really mesh the old and the new together, but it has been an odd part of early adulthood, adjusting to the differences of what you are used to vs what you really need to do or will be doing in the future. i'm struggling with the end, though.

gotta go to the store to get some chest congestion medicine (walgreens? but i did have that one odd comment from someone i don't know about how walgreens really screwed with him as an employee... hmmm.) at any rate, i've been fending off something bad for several days and hoping i can hold off on being sick. don't know now though.

But it was saturday night
I guess that makes it all right
And u say what have I got 2 lose?

gawd, my memory is bad. before i set out on the 30 second journey to find those lyrics, i was sadly mistaken that it was "friday night" and that i was somehow clever...

the songs

so here are the songs i decided to include on my comp cd. everyone has gotten theirs, with the exception of james. and james, if you don't like them, too bad because i am sending them to you anyways. when i get your address. =) and i've got to make copies for chris, because he said he'll take the final month. i guess usless he is in some faraway land with cindy then, in which case it would be a little difficult.

here goes:
doubles cd one
1 Deliverance-- Dueling Banjoes
2 Leo Kottke-- Corrina, Corrina
3 Phish-- Blackbird
4 Bob Dylan-- Don’t Think Twice, It’s Alright
5 Leo Kottke and Mike Gordon-- Living in the Country
6 Dave Matthews Band-- Crash into Me
7 Janis Joplin-- Me and Bobby McGee
8 Grateful Dead-- Uncle John’s Band
9 John Prine-- Angel from Montgomery
10 John Prine - Souvenirs
11 Johnny Cash- I Hung My Head
12 Simon and Garfunkel-- Cecilia
13 Phish-- The Connection
14 Paul Simon-- Me and Julio Down by the Schoolyard
15 Bob Marley-- No Woman, No Cry

doubles cd 2
1 Weezer-- My Name is Jonas
2 J. Geils Band-- Centerfold
3 The Cure-- Caterpillar
4 Low-- Sunflower
5 Mogwai-- CODY
6 Elliott Smith-- Angeles
7 Five for Fighting-- 100 Years
8 Keane-- Somewhere Only We Know
9 Billy Joel-- Piano Man
10 Jane’s Addiction-- Jane Says
11 Bikini Kill-- Rebel Girl
12 Sonic Youth-- Schizophrenia
13 Modest Mouse-- Teeth Like God’s Shoeshine
14 Built to Spill-- You Were Right
15 Beastie Boys-- So What’cha Want

and then there are the poor, discarded songs that i liked but that didn't fit, size-wise or thematically. in addition to keane and five for fighting, here are several of the songs that i am embarrassed about liking but like nonetheless...
your song by elton john
landslide by stevie nicks
hot child in the city
mmmmmmm. can't remember the others.
i think there was a bratmobile song, but for some reason, it just didn't sound right with the other songs.

so there you go... got confirmation that dave and tanuel are safe and sound in minot. we went out with jeremy twice this weekend, so he filled us in. hit the chatterbox on friday for some beer and trivia. then saturday early evening we told jeremy we'd take him to lifetime fitness for the "bring a friend" saturday... oh, what good friends we are =) we had made plans to meet paul and anna in dinkytown later that evening, so that's how we ended the night. we usually don't have saturdays free, but abbey was to be at a girl scout sleepover, so we made plans. unfortunately, she wasn't feeling well, but she stayed at her mom's... owe you one larson. she felt pretty good sunday and has been great tonight but has felt crappy off and on for about two weeks or so, so we're getting it checked out. gotta keep the child on the up and up...

anyhoo, i'm working on free-verse poetry with my kids at school, so i'll put up some stuff on that later. could be interesting blog material. and like i said, i'm working on variety.

paging...

dave and tanuel... are you out there? in london? in north dakota? btw, the cds went out to todd, amanda, and dave/tanuel c/o larry e. i'll post the somg lists next week. and get to james's and chris's soon. i think that's how you punctuate that, and i looked up a while back (for dickens's) but i've forgotten now.

current listening: the hum of the computer. no mpr all day believe it or not!
would like to be listening to: hmmmm. trey or weezer or sufran stephens (spelled that one wrong)
current reading: finishing a nf read called another planet about prior lake hs.
yeah, just finished: harry potter one
would like to have read: a whole bunch of books
would like to get back to: caramelo by sandra cisneros
maybe i'll finish some day: 100 yrs of solitude, same story from most who have tried...
last movie watched: spellbound (documentary) last week
why that was an anomoly: because i really don't get into movies
we may see tonight: north country
what we'll most likely end up doing: work out at ltf so we can go to the pool and hottub
tomorrow's agenda: more thesis work, yard work, going to the walker maybe
tomorrow "really should do": take the dog to the dog park and visit my sister, take some pants to the alteration shop b/c i'm too short for most pants i buy

hmmm. i'm trying to diversify my posting habits a little. if i were a lurker on my blog, i'd be very, very bored... gotta give a little if you wanna get a little...

poem for a friday

Love Poem With Toast
Miller Williams

Some of what we do, we do
to make things happen,
the alarm to wake us up, the coffee to perc,
the car to start.

The rest of what we do, we do
trying to keep something from doing something,
the skin from aging, the hoe from rusting,
the truth from getting out.

With yes and no like the poles of a battery
powering our passage through the days,
we move, as we call it, forward,
wanting to be wanted,
wanting not to lose the rain forest,
wanting the water to boil,
wanting not to have cancer,
wanting to be home by dark,
wanting not to run out of gas,

as each of us wants the other
watching at the end,
as both want not to leave the other alone,
as wanting to love beyond this meat and bone,
we gaze across breakfast and pretend.

from Some Jazz a While: Collected Poems, 1999
University of Illinois Press

trey trey trey trey trey

fuck YEAH! center stage FRONT ROW!!!

stephen, chris, jeremy maheny and i
were right there, no one in front of us.
got some ringing ears, but fuck, was it
an amazing show. wishin phish was still
together...

trey played WILSON between sets, and
driver and something else my brother
would remember but i don't/// oh, acdc bag...

this has been a kick ass night... =)