Tuesday, June 28, 2005

oh what a night

My gawd, I effing can't stand the people who run Abbey's regular daycare program. We have had an issue with them for several years (which I can't discuss here; issues dealing with -such- are off limits for the blog per SG) about which I started to inquire steadily last summer. Now I have inquired into the situation two times this summer, and they continue to flatly ignore my request for information......

excerpt from moi  "...We are trying to be proactive so that...  I am concerned that I have repeatedly tried to
gather this information from you (at least three times last summer/fall and now
two times this summer) and that you have repeatedly ignored my requests. I
understand that you are most likely busy, but even a quick email acknowledging
our request and letting us know you'll get back to us at a later date would be
approporiate/polite. Your continual stonewall of us is frustrating and confusing..."

"... I apologize if I come off as rude by email, but one starts to wonder what the
reasoning for never responding to this issue would be. We don't understand your silence.

Your prompt attention to this matter would be much appreciated..."

Ewwwwww. I hate being ignored when I feel I am being reasonable.

Daily effects of white privilege
http://www.cwru.edu/president/aaction/UnpackingTheKnapsack.pdf
I decided to try to work on myself at least by identifying some of the
daily effects of white privilege in my life. I have chosen those conditions
that I think in my case attach somewhat more to skin-color privilege than
to class, religion, ethnic status, or geographic location, though of course
all these other factors are intricately intertwined. As far as I can tell,
my African American coworkers, friends, and acquaintances with whom I come
into daily or frequent contact in this particular time, place and time of
work cannot count on most of these conditions.

1. I can if I wish arrange to be in the company of people of my race most of the time.

2. I can avoid spending time with people whom I was trained to mistrust and who have learned to mistrust my kind or me.

3. If I should need to move, I can be pretty sure of renting or purchasing housing in an area which I can afford and in which I would want to live.

4. I can be pretty sure that my neighbors in such a location will be neutral or pleasant to me.

5. I can go shopping alone most of the time, pretty well assured that I will not be followed or harassed.

6. I can turn on the television or open to the front page of the paper and see people of my race widely represented.

7. When I am told about our national heritage or about "civilization," I am shown that people of my color made it what it is.

8. I can be sure that my children will be given curricular materials that testify to the existence of their race.

9. If I want to, I can be pretty sure of finding a publisher for this piece on white privilege.

10. I can be pretty sure of having my voice heard in a group in which I am the only member of my race.

11. I can be casual about whether or not to listen to another person's voice in a group in which s/he is the only member of his/her race.

12. I can go into a music shop and count on finding the music of my race represented, into a supermarket and find the staple foods which fit with my cultural traditions, into a hairdresser's shop and find someone who can cut my hair.

13. Whether I use checks, credit cards or cash, I can count on my skin color not to work against the appearance of financial reliability.

14. I can arrange to protect my children most of the time from people who might not like them.

15. I do not have to educate my children to be aware of systemic racism for their own daily physical protection.

16. I can be pretty sure that my children's teachers and employers will tolerate them if they fit school and workplace norms; my chief worries about them do not concern others' attitudes toward their race.

17. I can talk with my mouth full and not have people put this down to my color.

18. I can swear, or dress in second hand clothes, or not answer letters, without having people attribute these choices to the bad morals, the poverty or the illiteracy of my race.

19. I can speak in public to a powerful male group without putting my race on trial.

20. I can do well in a challenging situation without being called a credit to my race.

21. I am never asked to speak for all the people of my racial group.

22. I can remain oblivious of the language and customs of persons of color who constitute the world's majority without feeling in my culture any penalty for such oblivion.

23. I can criticize our government and talk about how much I fear its policies and behavior without being seen as a cultural outsider.

24. I can be pretty sure that if I ask to talk to the "person in charge", I will be facing a person of my race.

25. If a traffic cop pulls me over or if the IRS audits my tax return, I can be sure I haven't been singled out because of my race.

26. I can easily buy posters, post-cards, picture books, greeting cards, dolls, toys and children's magazines featuring people of my race.

27. I can go home from most meetings of organizations I belong to feeling somewhat tied in, rather than isolated, out-of-place, outnumbered, unheard, held at a distance or feared.

28. I can be pretty sure that an argument with a colleague of another race is more likely to jeopardize her/his chances for advancement than to jeopardize mine.

29. I can be pretty sure that if I argue for the promotion of a person of another race, or a program centering on race, this is not likely to cost me heavily within my present setting, even if my colleagues disagree with me.

30. If I declare there is a racial issue at hand, or there isn't a racial issue at hand, my race will lend me more credibility for either position than a person of color will have.

31. I can choose to ignore developments in minority writing and minority activist programs, or disparage them, or learn from them, but in any case, I can find ways to be more or less protected from negative consequences of any of these choices.

32. My culture gives me little fear about ignoring the perspectives and powers of people of other races.

33. I am not made acutely aware that my shape, bearing or body odor will be taken as a reflection on my race.

34. I can worry about racism without being seen as self-interested or self-seeking.

35. I can take a job with an affirmative action employer without having my co-workers on the job suspect that I got it because of my race.

36. If my day, week or year is going badly, I need not ask of each negative episode or situation whether it had racial overtones.

37. I can be pretty sure of finding people who would be willing to talk with me and advise me about my next steps, professionally.

38. I can think over many options, social, political, imaginative or professional, without asking whether a person of my race would be accepted or allowed to do what I want to do.

39. I can be late to a meeting without having the lateness reflect on my race.

40. I can choose public accommodation without fearing that people of my race cannot get in or will be mistreated in the places I have chosen.

41. I can be sure that if I need legal or medical help, my race will not work against me.

42. I can arrange my activities so that I will never have to experience feelings of rejection owing to my race.

43. If I have low credibility as a leader I can be sure that my race is not the problem.

44. I can easily find academic courses and institutions which give attention only to people of my race.

45. I can expect figurative language and imagery in all of the arts to testify to experiences of my race.

46. I can chose blemish cover or bandages in "flesh" color and have them more or less match my skin.

47. I can travel alone or with my spouse without expecting embarrassment or hostility in those who deal with us.

48. I have no difficulty finding neighborhoods where people approve of our household.

49. My children are given texts and classes which implicitly support our kind of family unit and do not turn them against my choice of domestic partnership.

50. I will feel welcomed and "normal" in the usual walks of public life, institutional and social.



Sunday, June 26, 2005

muggorama

Could it be any more muggy than this? (Uh, I know it COULD, but damn, is it uncomfortable outside!) Just got back from the Walljasper's house where Abbey and I ate supper and went for a walk. The timing was just right for me b/c Stephen is shooting a wedding today and if you know anything about our household, you should know that he is the cook... And since he wasn't going to be around for supper today, the prospects were lookin' bleak. Actually from a kid's standpoint, it's good as I CAN make mac and cheese (can you even claim to be able to COOK that?) So she probably would have enjoyed being home vs kabobs, but I though it was a-ok! And she got lots of time to play Polly Pocket with Yana (one of her closest friends) while the parents and I had cheese and wine, so it was all good =)

Abbs and I went to see The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants today at the MOA theater. This was a big thing because we don't often go to movies together. They're expensive and being the annoying parents we are, we usually make her do boring free stuff like, oh, go on an hour bike ride along Minnehaha Parkway (this morning). Yes, we have even mall walked in search of ways to get "family exercise." I feel like someone who would own a mini-van when I say that. Sorry if you own a mini-van. Anyways, it was actually a pretty good movie; even made me teary-eyed a little. And not just at how in-shape the girl who plays Bridget is in. So sitting there though the trailers, I got that settle-in-this-is-awesome feeling about movies that I rarely get because I don't watch them all that often, even at home. And Abbey was quite the cuddle-bug, which I relish now because I know that she'll more or less be done with that within a few years. Good experience overall. Some parts of the movie were a little over her head (subtle parts about things that had happened, like one of the girls losing her virginity) but that's ok because she likes to re-watch movies, and it will be a good one for her to see again in a couple of years.

That's all for now. Couldn't find my camera before we went over for supper, so nothing to put up...

Thursday, June 23, 2005

invisible

Today is my last day of a two week detox (Whole Body Cleanse from Whole Foods) and all I can think about is eating pizza and having a margarita tomorrow. I don’t think that is the goal of the program, but I just can‘t seem to help it. Supposedly my bile is flowing free, my lymph system is cleaner, as well as the system that, well, you would think would be cleaner after a lot of fiber. But I really don’t feel all that different. Really, I feel hungry. And trust me, I’ve been eating. Is it sad when I feel like food items such as 1. soy sauce 2. yogurt 3. oat bran flakes 4. veggies from a can (processed) 5. too many cashews 6. string cheese contribute to something that would sabotage a $28 program (had a coupon...) CHEATING??? I will be super relieved tomorrow. Really, I won’t go whole hog and run to get pizza, a margarita, AND Sebastian Joes (I’ve suggested all of the above to Stephen, who is not enjoying the same cleansing as I) but at least I will be able to enjoy an effing s’more around the campfire!!

Grad class Tuesday night. One topic of interest I’d like to broach. What is the invisible culture of American schools? If an incoming student had never been in a US school before, what would they notice. In my opinion, something glaring would be the notion of being relatively passive, staying seated , and waiting for the teacher’s cues before talking. How is this communicated? If you can’t abide by these rules, you know pretty quickly because you’ll get in trouble. NOW... how does this part of the invisible culture contribute to the gap between upper class and lower class kids, between white kids and kids of color? I think it is huge. I am part of the white, hmmm, I’d say middle class. School was always easy for me. I got along well with others, did well on my assignments, was in advanced classes from the 7th grade on through my senior year. So school is generally good for kids in my situation. But what does the disproportionate number of kids of color and from lower class families in programs like ALCs (Alternative Learning Centers) and EBD rooms (Emotional/Behavioral Disorders) say about what type of culture is withstood in the general classroom. (I have no numbers or percentages to offer; I’m just going on what I observe in my school and what I’ve heard from teachers in other schools). And is this fair? I guess it depends on whether or not you believe that all kids should be able to abide by a system that was created by a majority of white upper class people who developed it to suit their learning styles and needs. What would our schools look like if they would have been created by a different grouping of people, one who held different values? If not all kids learn best by sitting still in a desk and listening, taking notes, listening, is it fair to expect that all will do well in this environment? Are we setting sub groups up for failure?

Not to say that all teachers just lecture to their students, but I’d say that from the 6th grade on, this is quite common. Even in my case. I try hard to mix it up and do things that I think will truly matter to my kids, but when I have 170 kids and limited space, even my best intentions aren’t ever fully carried out. More specific to English than just the sitting/listening issue, I have been trying to start the writer’s workshop in my class, and it is hard. Not completely a loss, but to truly do what Nancie Atwell does with her class of 18 in a school that she created seems nearly impossible in my case. So I modify and do the best that I can. I got a good start at the beginning of last year and through the fall, but by the end of the year, I was back to my regular units, feeling like I wasn’t making a huge difference in the lives of my kids. A Christmas Carol/Charles Dickens, Holocaust literature, A Midsummer Night’s Dream/Shakespeare. So I’ll start over again in the fall with renewed energy and patience and hope. A little smarter but also a little warier. So I have come to the conclusion that our system holds back not only students, but also teachers... Big news, I’m sure. There’s a statistic out there somewhere that states that our schools are conducive to something like 30% of students. The rest would need other types of schooling to reach their optimum level. I suppose I could write about charter schools and the hope I have for education when I listen to people like Walter Enloe and Dan Lortiz, two of my professors from Hamline. But that’s for another day, because then I’d have to hem and haw about whether I am too tied to the union to branch out to a charter school and lose my security. Especially in this economy.

That’s better. Not such a fucking brainless entry.
If only I could tape Stephen’s and my conversations when I get home from class. He says he’s glad I’m back in class because we really talk about issues., and it’s nice for a change to be able to discuss something other than how we need new people in office. We seem to talk about that a lot.

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

Devil's Lake

We got back from our first camping trip of the year late last night. It was kind of a rare trip in that we were camping with both of our parent sets, along with Abbey and Marcus (Stephen's youngest brother.) So Abbey got to see both sets of gparents on our side and plot pranks against her dad with her 14 yr old uncle =) She seems to love the outdoors and camping, which is good for us since we live for camping trips in the summer. Anyhow, we went all the way to Devils Lake, ND, (a littel too far for the general camping venture) and stayed in the Geffre's new pop-up, quite spiffy. We bought their old one which is now safe in our driveway. Two weeks until Stephen and I head to Duluth for five days for another trip...

Needless to say, having to sit in the St. Thomas Univ. library today for two hours to read two chapters in the textbook that I checked out vs bought was not all that easy. Neither will it be easy to sit in class tonight (at Hamline).

I won't have any camping pictures until my mom sends me some over email, so you'll be left to envison everyone but me eating s'mores. I should have known better than to start a two week detox when I had a camping trip right in the middle... Yeah, THAT won't happen again =)

Subsiding on veggies, fruit, brown rice, and beans, MICHELLE =)
(ok, so nuts, and yogurt, and a little cheese, too)

Friday, June 10, 2005

"Think of it as stickin' it to the Man with a six-millimeter crochet hook."

I feel like I'm a lot less crafty than I was several years ago (ok... so it's been almost a decade/) Nonetheless, I asked my grandma to teach me to knit four or five Christmases ago. My MO? I didn't want the cool things she has done for us (mittens, afghans, quilts, LEFSE!) to get lost with our generation. I guess I wanted my kiddies to have cool snowflake mittens and plenty of lefse at the holiday meal. So I'm not a STELLAR knitter--IS that a scarf?--lefse is quite frustrating *but oh-so-worth-it* and the only quilt squares I have are the fronts cut off of all of my old punk rock tshirts (lots of those!)--but I still have aspirations to get better. And wouldntcha know it... today was my last technical day at work until August. (Reminder: working with adolescents winds up your blood pressure so much that, yes, this time is needed to unwind and come down to normalcy again.) So I've got some time on my hands. Until I get paid for curriculum planning in a few weeks, so I'm not completely off the hook. And I can't forget about the really hard grad class that starts next week... Wouldn't want you to think I'm a slacker!

Anyhoo-- since I DO have some extra time on my hands, I decided to go to the City Pages website to see if I could find anything cool for our family to do. I got hung up on Diablo Cody's blog for a few minutes and then came across this article.

It's not that I'm a trend setter, but it's weird how you find out that you have unwittingly been part of a greater group of like minded people. That everyone's doing it. UGH. After several reports on Frida Kahlo in college Spanish, I found out that people like Madonna liked her work and that it was the thing of the moment. That's more bad than good in my mind. Madge. Whatever.

And I'll tell ya. Stephen makes fun of me for some of my "great craft ideas." Not that he isn't right and that we have ended up with usless crap at random times. My beading stuff has been the most sustainable hobby, albeit put on the way-back burner until I get this grad school stuff done with.

And I am in a crafting circle with my sister, Lisa, and some other ladies... the Hot Mamacita Craftng Circle. Yeah, got shit about that, too =) Although I think the only time I've been able to make it was after the John Kerry rally last summer. Ran from the Metrodome to Augsburg as the lightrail was super crowded and, well, I was late.

Here's the link to the article. I must say, the references to pr and riot girl send me back some years. MC3 anyone?

Monday, June 06, 2005

wiggidywack... is it summer yet?


mns03
Originally uploaded by michellend.

like stepmother like daughter.... =)


mna02
Originally uploaded by michellend.

if only you could hear her chewy imitation!


abbey03
Originally uploaded by michellend.

abbey the lovely


abbey07
Originally uploaded by michellend.

like father like daughter


sna02
Originally uploaded by michellend.

can you feel it?


newyear04
Originally uploaded by michellend.

ok, so i caved and decided to try to learn how to post pictures. my original thought was to avoid anything that a student may randomly find and attach to me, and i wanted complete separation from my job... but i figure the chances of one of the odd thousand or so of them coming across this is slim. not like i have too crazy of a personal life anyhoo...

so here's my trial post; Stephen, Abbey, and I at Buca on New Year's 2004 =)