invisible

Today is my last day of a two week detox (Whole Body Cleanse from Whole Foods) and all I can think about is eating pizza and having a margarita tomorrow. I don’t think that is the goal of the program, but I just can‘t seem to help it. Supposedly my bile is flowing free, my lymph system is cleaner, as well as the system that, well, you would think would be cleaner after a lot of fiber. But I really don’t feel all that different. Really, I feel hungry. And trust me, I’ve been eating. Is it sad when I feel like food items such as 1. soy sauce 2. yogurt 3. oat bran flakes 4. veggies from a can (processed) 5. too many cashews 6. string cheese contribute to something that would sabotage a $28 program (had a coupon...) CHEATING??? I will be super relieved tomorrow. Really, I won’t go whole hog and run to get pizza, a margarita, AND Sebastian Joes (I’ve suggested all of the above to Stephen, who is not enjoying the same cleansing as I) but at least I will be able to enjoy an effing s’more around the campfire!!

Grad class Tuesday night. One topic of interest I’d like to broach. What is the invisible culture of American schools? If an incoming student had never been in a US school before, what would they notice. In my opinion, something glaring would be the notion of being relatively passive, staying seated , and waiting for the teacher’s cues before talking. How is this communicated? If you can’t abide by these rules, you know pretty quickly because you’ll get in trouble. NOW... how does this part of the invisible culture contribute to the gap between upper class and lower class kids, between white kids and kids of color? I think it is huge. I am part of the white, hmmm, I’d say middle class. School was always easy for me. I got along well with others, did well on my assignments, was in advanced classes from the 7th grade on through my senior year. So school is generally good for kids in my situation. But what does the disproportionate number of kids of color and from lower class families in programs like ALCs (Alternative Learning Centers) and EBD rooms (Emotional/Behavioral Disorders) say about what type of culture is withstood in the general classroom. (I have no numbers or percentages to offer; I’m just going on what I observe in my school and what I’ve heard from teachers in other schools). And is this fair? I guess it depends on whether or not you believe that all kids should be able to abide by a system that was created by a majority of white upper class people who developed it to suit their learning styles and needs. What would our schools look like if they would have been created by a different grouping of people, one who held different values? If not all kids learn best by sitting still in a desk and listening, taking notes, listening, is it fair to expect that all will do well in this environment? Are we setting sub groups up for failure?

Not to say that all teachers just lecture to their students, but I’d say that from the 6th grade on, this is quite common. Even in my case. I try hard to mix it up and do things that I think will truly matter to my kids, but when I have 170 kids and limited space, even my best intentions aren’t ever fully carried out. More specific to English than just the sitting/listening issue, I have been trying to start the writer’s workshop in my class, and it is hard. Not completely a loss, but to truly do what Nancie Atwell does with her class of 18 in a school that she created seems nearly impossible in my case. So I modify and do the best that I can. I got a good start at the beginning of last year and through the fall, but by the end of the year, I was back to my regular units, feeling like I wasn’t making a huge difference in the lives of my kids. A Christmas Carol/Charles Dickens, Holocaust literature, A Midsummer Night’s Dream/Shakespeare. So I’ll start over again in the fall with renewed energy and patience and hope. A little smarter but also a little warier. So I have come to the conclusion that our system holds back not only students, but also teachers... Big news, I’m sure. There’s a statistic out there somewhere that states that our schools are conducive to something like 30% of students. The rest would need other types of schooling to reach their optimum level. I suppose I could write about charter schools and the hope I have for education when I listen to people like Walter Enloe and Dan Lortiz, two of my professors from Hamline. But that’s for another day, because then I’d have to hem and haw about whether I am too tied to the union to branch out to a charter school and lose my security. Especially in this economy.

That’s better. Not such a fucking brainless entry.
If only I could tape Stephen’s and my conversations when I get home from class. He says he’s glad I’m back in class because we really talk about issues., and it’s nice for a change to be able to discuss something other than how we need new people in office. We seem to talk about that a lot.